John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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