Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
