I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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