ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
