You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
pop tarts are not kleenex
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
