so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
