I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
