Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need a beard to bite.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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