okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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