The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize