When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
