This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
