I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He passed out mid-signature
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
