My sheets look like a crime scene.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize