so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize