but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
