I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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