i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The air taste purple.
Randomize