ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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