Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
