Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
