No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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