dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
