I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Screwed.edu
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize