He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
