I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
