So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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