3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
