If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
