the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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