I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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