cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize