i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
