I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
