Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
