Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
