If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
