Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize