I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he thought i was a dude.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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