how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
