she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's always time for handjobs
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize