he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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