I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
