i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize