Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
