i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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