why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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