I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
