you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
