he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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