I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
