can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
