Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
