yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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