HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
