you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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