So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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