It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
