idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
