I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
