I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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