just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
