I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
