life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
