Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
