I wish I only lived at night.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
