maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
