help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
